Knoxville520.com

Knoxville is so over the moon about scratch cards, mega millions, and televised ping pong ball drawings that even the City Council is getting into the act. It appears that last week at the Knox County Courthouse there were a few leftover elections that no one could really declare the winner of, so the good people of the Courthouse decided to let the bingo cage do the talkng. Four ping pong balls were put into the cage, two blank, one marked "1", and one marked "2." The nervous candidates were assigned numbers and then waited breathlessly as Sheila Parkin --any other day just a humble secretary, but today Bingo Cage Operator-- began to turn the crank.

As with with any bingo drawing, there were joyous winners, pouting losers, shouts of joy, and many tears. Luckily for us, all that hullabaloo took place in Knoxville, Illinois. Something totally undignified like that would never take place in our Courthouse.

Right?




And now for our weekly rankings!

This week's key:

= Lost winning mega millions ticket.
= Spent all booze money on Diamond White 8's.
= Won enough from Diamond White 8's to buy back booze.
= Lottery paid for your textbooks.
= Won $88,888 playing Diamond White 8's!

Spiderman 3 ()

There have been a lot of people all in a snitch about the latest Spiderman movie. It's too long, some complain. It's too emotional, others wail. Too many musical numbers, yet others bitch.

Listen, kids, Sam Raimi ain't going for a cinematic masterpiece. The Spiderman movies are popcorn flicks, and this latest offering is the saltiest, butteriest one yet. Dunst, Franco, and especially Maguire all have fun in this film, and their characters are the most interesting and fleshed-out they've ever been. Seeing Peter Parker go all emo and start acting like a Night at the Roxbury douchebag is priceless. Thank Raimi for letting his stars ham it up and make Spiderman 3 the most watchable Spidey yet. -J.B.

Sam's Restaurant & Deli ()

Located at 4405 North Broadway, at first glance this place might strike you as kind of a dive. Ok, maybe it technically is a dive... but a lovable one. The servers there are always warm and friendly, good down-home folks that'll ask how your day is going and sure 'nuff tell you about theirs. The cuisine is classic "home-cooking," a daily selection of food like country-fried steak, catfish, porkchops, pinto beans and cornbread, and that magical, mystical Knoxville sausage-based dish, Metts and beans. Side dishes that are almost always available include fried green tomatoes, homemade mac n' cheese, cooked greens of some kind, potato salad, cinnamon apples; everything other than a sandwich also comes with a roll or cornbread. If you go the sandwich route, expect a choice of chips or fries as your side, and plenty of sandwich as your main entree. As if that isn't enough, they also serve breakfast all day, a hearty variety of egg and breakfast meat dishes. Regardless of what you order, bring your appetite - the prices are more than reasonable, as are the portions. The overall rustic appeal of this joint is genuine - they don't have a website, email, or mailing list. My only complaint is that there has been a time or two when the table where I was seated was a little questionable, cleanliness-wise, and once or twice I had to make a second choice because I wanted was already gone (but a second choice generally turns out delicious anyway). The philosophy behind the business is good food, friendly and capable staff, and happy customers, and it obviously works for them - I've been going there for years. -B.T.

Wolfmother at the Orange Peel ( + )

This Friday evening I had the pleasure of making the surprisingly short trek up to Asheville, North Carolina for an evening with new-old school band Wolfmother. My friends and I stopped for dinner at the New French Bar Courtyard Cafe where we had delightfully cheap food (considering it was seafood, hummus wraps, and other semi-exotic cuisine) as well as $3.75 Bombay Sapphire gin and tonics (what a ridiculously awesome deal).

Then, we headed down to the Orange Peel to see one of the hardest rocking shows I have ever seen, which is saying a lot. Wolfmother, despite only having one full-length album out, managed to play for slightly over two hours. The show included every song on the album, a new song appearing on the Spiderman 3 soundtrack, and a number of jams-- one of which freakishly resembled "Careful with that Axe Eugene" by Pink Floyd. At times, I thought that the walls of the building would collapse.

The frontman, Andrew Stockdale, often took his guitar from around his neck and swung it around. The bassist switched flawlessly from bass to organ in the middle of songs. The drummer shattered a stick during the encore and the splinters got sucked up into the air current around him and floated there for the remainder of the song. I almost teared up with joy during the drum fill on "White Unicorn."

It's refreshing to see a rock band that actually acts like a rock band. -G.W.

Mint Julep Derby ()

Everyone knows that there are two pairings that make or break the Kentucky Derby. One is the jockey & the horse. The other (and possibly the most critical) is bourbon & mint. Sadly enough, I have never been to Churchill Downs for any live Derby action. Every spring, however, I spend what's been called the "greatest two minutes in sports" with dear friends, some racing stats and a little hooch. This year, thanks to our host's good taste, we upgraded to Woodford Reserve - the bourbon of the Derby. Lo and behold, "one mint julep" turned into two (or three, or four...) resulting in a perfect afternoon. Tally-ho! -S.S.

See you next week!