The Monday After: Overtly White
Welcome to the gahwgeous 520 blog, The Monday After. This is our attempt to blast through our Monday morning hangovers to offer you some quickie reviews of all the things we’re pretty sure we got into this past week, including gigs, concerts, movies, plays, and restaurants. Pop a couple of ibuprofens and enjoy.
...Now, Missis, do jist look at dem beautiful white hands o' yourn with long fingers, and all sparkling with rings, like my white lilies when de dew 's on 'em...
-Uncle Tom's Cabin
Be wary, Knoxville. Another transient is coming to town, and this one doesn't want your money. This one wants to eat you alive.
No, not really. All she really wants to do is lie down and soak in the sun, and maybe eat a duck or two when she's feeling peckish. Say hello to this rare white alligator, imported last week from our favorite state-to-hate, Florida. She's left her winter home in St. Augustine to visit Knoxville Zoo for the summer.
White alligators, however, are native not to Florida, but to the storied bayous of Louisiana, which Knoxville Zoo is apparently using as a selling point. The zoo invites you to come on down and gaze at the alligator's splendid albino-ness, including its pink irises. Louisiana legend has it that a good stare into those albino gator orbs will bring you good luck. From the zoo's website:
This summer through Labor Day, Knoxville Zoo visitors can "look in dem eyes" and find out if the legend is true.
Um. We're absolutely positive the folks at the Zoo mean well. Absolutely positive. They're earnestly trying to create a "true, Louisiana bayou experience" complete with "a waterfall, pool, cypress trees, moss and a mud bank." Let's just not add "stereotype" to that list, 'k?
And now for a segue!
Speaking of rare -but very special- life forms, you should take a look at this local news release:
April 14, 2007
Kingsport, TN @ the Civic Auditorium
1. Cody Ices defeated Tobias Grimm
2. Steve Fury defeated Bryan Wayne... After the match, John Hawkins sprayed mist into the eyes of Fury and blinded him.
3. United States Tag Team Champions, Tony Givens & Robbie Cassidy defeated Eddie Golden & Allen King... After the match, King and his manager, Bolo turned on Golden.
4. National Heavyweight Champion, Ray Idol defeated Nick Hammonds
5. Thorn, Beau James & Kandy defeated The Tennessee Rednecks & Miss Rebecca Lynn in a 6 Person Mixed Tag... After the match, Wayne Adkins tried to hang Kandy from the balcony.
Championship Wrestling returns to Kingsport, TN at the Civic Auditorium on Friday, April 27. The Main Event will be a "Hangmen's Noose Match" with Givens, Cassidy & Thorn vs. The Tennessee Rednecks & Cody Ices. The 1st team to hang a member of the opposing team will the winners.
Hope you're okay, Kandy.
We really like that this article's descriptions of aggravated assault, attempted murder, and an upcoming hanging are so refreshingly nonchalant. We think that 520 is gonna have to take in a local wrestling match as soon as humanly possible.
And now for our weekly rankings!
This week's key:
= Death by alligator.
= Smells like the zoo.
= Perfectly ordinary.
= Vols win!
= Even better: Gators lose!
105.3 Singer/Songwriter Contest at Stir Fry ()
I had the good fortune to be selected as one of the judges for the 105.3 Singer/Songwriter contest taking place on Thursdays at Stir Fry Turkey Creek. This 12-week competition is ferreting out the best of our area's gifted musicians and bestowing them with all sorts of cash and prizes - including $1500 worth of time in a recording studio. The night I was there, five performers of varying ages and experience took the stage with their own compositions and shared them with the sizable crowd. They were all nervous and excited, but fully embraced their 7 minutes of fame. I was thrilled to see how supportive the audience was of these mostly novice performers. (Your first time is scary!) Here's to Brent Thompson, the crew at Stir Fry and to WFIV for fostering local talent.
P.S. There are still 3 weeks left of this competition - contact Brent at Stir Fry Turkey Creek to secure your spot in this very cool contest. -S.S.
Grindhouse ()
The trailer for Grindhouse turned me off completely, and I had no desire to see this movie, despite the many favorable reviews given to me by my pestering film nerd friends. I've been overloaded with gore and violence in movies this year, and dammit, I just wanted to see a comedy for a change. Despite my best intentions, sometimes you just gotta go see the flick your roommate wants to watch. So I went to Grindhouse.
And I liked it. Quite a bit. What had turned me off in the trailer was its "bloodiest, goriest film ever, ever made" vibe, and I was unimpressed with that legless broad toting a gun for a stump. What turned me on in the movie was that both films (Grindhouse is a double feature) were made by directors affectionate for B movies, resulting in two pretty funny, pretty ridiculous B movies. The first, "Planet Terror" by Robert Rodriguez, is more of a comedy that a slasher flick, and very much reminded me of Shaun of the Dead, which is, in my humble opinion, the best zombie film ever made. It wasn't pure cinematic joy like Shaun, but it certainly made people exploding and getting eaten alive a pleasure to watch. The second, Quentin Tarantino's "Death Proof," almost lulls you to sleep after the frantic pace of "Planet Terror," since much of the opening act is devoted to watching a bunch of young ladies yak about boys and sex and weed and everything and nothing for about forty-five minutes. But it turns out Tarantino's just winding us up, because instead of rewarding us with boobies and lesbian kisses (there was an loud "Aww, man!" from the audience at one particular let-down), he gives us something much more interesting: death, flying body parts, and a ridiculously tense car chase. Props to expert stuntwoman Zoe Bell for being totally badass and for delivering the best line of any movie this year: "I'm okay!" -J.B.
Sunsphere Development ()
This past January, plans to restore and reopen the Sunsphere were announced, after years of the public and those in public office flip-flopping over whether to do anything with the empty landmark, or just get rid of it. That was super-exciting to a child of the 80s like myself. This weekend, however, I read a press release announcing that Southern Graces catering would be sub-leasing two floors of that big gold globe in the sky... a sure sign that things are looking up for the sphere. Set for a grand opening this September, the floor right above the observation deck will be a snack bar/drinks bar, open to the public during lunch hours and evening hours. Another level will be an "Event Floor," sure to add a dash of class and glamor to any bar mitzvah or cotillion. This year marks the 25th anniversary of the 1982 World's Fair, and many local folks have been petitioning to have the Sunsphere reopened. At last, success! -B.T.
See you next week!