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Oh help us all. Why must there be two back-to-back months each and every calendar year where we go absolutely bonkers? With February comes SAD and the fear that we'll never see the sun or happiness ever again, and just when the damn orb finally comes out, spreads its warmth, and heralds the arrival of another beautiful spring, a twisted, peculiar, media-induced madness immediately sets in, keeping us just as crazy as before.

March Madness is here, folks. And there's nothing you can do about it.

Yessir, ladies and genteman, it's that time of year again. The NCAA tourney brackets have been announced, the seeds have been sown, and that familiar feeling of nausea has set up camp in our stomachs. How to cure it? February's madness required Prozac. This month's insanity requires nothing but victory after sweet, blessed victory. This edition of The Monday After is therefore dedicated to both of our Tennessee basketball teams. Go kick some ass. (We promise, next week, we won't mention basketball. Even though we'll be thinking about it. A lot.)

And now for our weekly rankings!

James King Band at Backhills Café ()

Friday night at the Backhills Café & Picking Parlor, the five-man James King Band mesmerized a very enthusiastic and attentive sold-out audience with kick-ass picking and songs that either had us choking back tears or whooping with joy. King himself was delightful as he told jokes (inspired by WDVX’s Freddie Smith, who kept the crowd entertained until the King band arrived), played numerous requests (even when his band was off-stage), and shared the stage with surprise special guest, C.F. Bailey, who, I swear, was channeling Jimmy Martin. Two days prior to this show, King’s mandolin player of over a decade required heart surgery, and in his place, Travers Chandler, a 26-year old mandolin Buddha, didn’t miss a beat with his high lonesome backup vocals and otherworldly, entranced, wicked fast solos.

Kudos also go to the owners and staff of the Backhills Café & Picking Parlor for providing a genuine listening room for performers and devoted fans. (5/5) -D.D.

Trio ()

An affordable new restaurant serving breakfast, lunch and dinner has moved into our favorite downtown spot. It's got a stylish look and interesting flavor combinations that enticed me to visit twice in as many days. My picks: for breakfast try one of their five varieties of eggs benedict, for lunch the panini's are quite tasty and the $5.99 create your own salad option seemed to be popular, dinner runs the gamut from smoked pork loin to garden pasta to the "November All Year" roasted turkey plate. Trio also has a variety of coffee drinks, pastries and even serves up wine and cocktails. Though they've certainly set the bar high with so many menu options to keep up with, Trio's opening week proved them up to the task. (4/5) -D.M.

Boozing at the Biltmore ()

I've been going to the Biltmore Estate on a regular basis for many years, but I never get tired of walking through its halls and gardens. I haven't visited the winery in several years, however, since I've never been particularly turned on by the product. Now, I'm no wine expert, but I know enough to detect when a wine more closely resembles Mogen David than Brunello di Montalcino Riserva 2001! I've always been less than impressed with what I've tried at the Biltmore...until this weekend. We had some extra time, so we stopped into the tasting room at the Estate and sampled some of their new wines, and was I surprised? Things over at the Biltmore winery seem to have taken a pleasant turn. The new Celebration wine was great, as was the Sangiovese, the Red Century and the Cabernet Franc. Most were reasonably priced ($10-$20), so I filled my basket with some of their tasty new treats. Party at my house! (4/5) -S.S.

Eric McCormack Story ()

There was no movie that I felt was worth eleven bucks this week. Instead, you get a story!

So on Sunday I was working at my other job at one of the Roundabout Theatres off-Broadway (in New York) as a member of the house staff. My job on Sunday was to man the elevator, and my chief duty was shipping all of the blue-hairs from the main lobby and box-office down two stories to the entrance to the theatre. (As all members of the house staff are wearing walkie talkies with ear pieces, the elevator man can be called to any floor to cart people to any level.) On one of my many times back to the first floor to round up the latest crop of grannies, I hear something very loud as I open the door back into the lobby.

It turns out Eric McCormack (from Will & Grace fame) had just gotten his ticket from the boxoffice window. As he was walking down the stairs (in lieu of the elevator) the boxoffice worker got on the walkie talkie --because we like to keep each other informed about the celebs in the house-- and said, "Eric McCormack is heading down the stairs with a bad mustache."

Dan, the janitor, doesn't speak much English. And I don't think he hears well, either. Sarah, the new House Manager, had decided recently that Dan needs a walkie talkie before the show so that he can be called to clean anything up (like an overflowing toilet) in case of a patron emergency.

Well, on Sunday, Daniel was in the main lobby right beside the door to the elevator, and right beside the stairs going down to the theatre. He had his walkie talkie out, with no ear pieces. At full volume. So as Eric McCormack was heading down the stairs with a bad mustache, Daniel's walkie talkie blasted, "ERIC MCCORMACK IS HEADING DOWN THE STAIRS WITH A BAD MUSTACHE."

We are no longer allowed to discuss patrons over our walkie talkies. (5/5) -J.B.






See you next week!