Knoxville520.com

Welcome to the salubrious 520 blog, The Monday After. This is our attempt to blast through our Monday morning hangovers and offer up some quickie reviews of all the things we’re pretty sure we got into this past week, including gigs, concerts, movies, plays, and restaurants. Pop a couple of ibuprofens and enjoy.

If you missed last week's instant-classic match-up between Tennessee and Florida at Thompson-Boling, then you missed quite possibly the latest sure-fire sign of the impending Armageddon. Pat Summitt, the ruthlessly uncharming coach of the Lady Vols, made good on her promise to one-up Bruce Pearl's naked cheering at the Lady Vol vs. Duke game in January. While no one was wanting her to repeat Bruce's antics, no one was quite sure just how she was going to make as big of a splash as Bruce did. But Pat Summitt can always find a way. By trading her sensible pantsuit in for a polyester mini, climbing on top of her assistant coaches during the game's first timeout, and flashing her lacy knickers to a national television audience while leading a cheer atop a pyramid of nubile co-eds, Pat Summitt showed that she is 1) crazy about basketball, 2) crazy about Bruce Pearl, and 3) crazy.

(Okay, so the lacy knickers were actually white biker shorts, but you know that there was at least one lonely Lady Vol fan out there watching the game and enjoying it for all the wrong reasons.) Bruce Pearl was reportedly tickled pink at Summitt's antics, and declared in front of the crowd that Pat was now his, quote, "BFF for life." Bruce's previous "Best Friend Forever" was also in attendance at the star-studded game: UT's Greatest Pumpkin, Phil Fulmer. Simmering with envy over Pat's routine, and determined to win back Bruce's attention, the not-to-be-out-done Fulmer has reportedly now pledged to lead the UT Dance Team in an interpretation of "Buttons" by The Pussycat Dolls at the next men's home game.

And now for our weekly rankings!

Umphrey's McGee at the Bijou ()

This past Friday at the Bijou was one of first truly memorable nights for me in 2007. The sold out theatre had never felt better as Umphrey's circus of progressive rock took form over 2 long sets. Special guest Jeff Coffin of Bela Fleck and the Flecktones made his second Knoxville appearance in as many days and then a third as he and Kris Meyers (drums) walked down the street to sit in with The Mitch Rutman Group at the Downtown Grill and Brewery. Needless to say it was 2 a.m. before I knew it. The Umphrey's crowd has tripled in the last three years and Friday they proved they deserve it with a captivating show in our city's greatest sounding room. (5/5) -D.M.

Animaniacs on DVD ()

I'm 32 years old and I still love cartoons. Sick? Maybe. Do I care? Nope. There's hardly anything better than waking up extra early on Saturday morning, curling up on the couch with a bowl of cereal and a cup of coffee, and spending some quality time in the animated world. I must admit, though, that in recent years, cartoons have become less amusing and more like soap operas - especially the ones aimed at young girls ( BRATZ, Sabrina, etc.). I guess that's why I was so excited to learn that the old Animaniacs series has been released on DVD. Now there's a cartoon! Much like "Warner Bros. meets the Marx Bros.", Animaniacs sends up stock gags like falling anvils, suspension in mid-air, and bulging eyeballs accompanied by the "ah-OOO-ga" sound with clever dialogue and modern (well, 1990's) political references. I forked over a not-so-small chunk of change to add my long-lost animated friends to my home collection, and was it worth it? It made me so happy, you could practically see my Valentine-shaped heart pounding in my chest! (5/5) -S.S.

Zodiac ()

The tagline of Zodiac pretty much sums up the entire movie: "There's more than one way to lose your life to a killer." There's also more than one film I'd rather give three hours of my life to that I'll never get back, namely any of The Lord of the Ring films. Not to say that Zodiac is a bad film. It's a rather good film, but the way it drives home its message is to make you feel as exasperated and derailed as the detectives trying to solve the impossible-to-solve mystery of the Zodiac killings. Perhaps I could have enjoyed the subtleties of the long, winding plot more had there not been an

Asshole Sending Text Messages in the Movie Theater ()

Are you kidding me? Are you THAT important? Is your attention span THAT effed up? I gave the guy the benefit of the doubt for the first thirty minutes of the film, but when I saw him switch on his phone's INTERNET BROWSER, I lost my cool.

Anyway, see the film when you've got a huge chunk of time to kill. Gyllenhaal flounders a bit in his big-boy role, but Mark Ruffalo and Robert Downey, Jr. are worth the price of admission. (3/5) -J.B.

Lunar Eclipse ()

There is a quote from Buddha that says, "Three things cannot long be hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth." Well, the truth is, Saturday night's lunar eclipse was something else to behold. Maybe I'm a little geeky, but seeing the full moon obscured by the Earth's moving shadow was simply enchanting, and although folks in Europe and Africa had the best views, East Tennessee had a pretty good view of things, too. It lasted a few hours, and with the chilly wind blowing around outside, my moongazing out in the back yard didn't last too long. But it was enough to remind me how amazing these kinds of natural events are, and how interesting astronomy can be. If you missed the eclipse, your next chance to see one is sometime in late August. Encourage your geeky side, and check it out! (5/5) -B.T.






Practice safe texting and see you next week!