Knoxville520.com

Hello You Gorgeous 520 Blog Readers. Straps here.

Well it has begun.

Yes, beautiful people, the gauntlets have been dropped, lots have been cast, and the pint glasses lifted. Seven have subscribed to this brave endeavor, willing to duke it out Royal Rumble style, taking on the competition mano-y-bloggo, all vying to be the last scenester standing. But there can be only one, my lovely reader, only one. Hold on to yer Bluetooth mouses, interweb-ites, this one could get ugly.

All hail 520!!! Those who are about to try –our darn tootenest to get our greasy hands on them 500 bones by assuming our lives our so cool that any given reasonable person would find grand amounts of entertainment in dilly-dallying their time on this hi tech highway reading our over exaggerated accounts of bar crawling, rock show going, restaurant eating, movie watching exploits and adventures and listening to our damn clever witticisms and opinions because I am one damn cool individual, for real, I AM cool, you're gonna wanna read all about my hip cooly coolness, I know it, I know it, gosh darn it, and mamma says I’m funny- We salute you!

And I give you my word, fair and just minded reader, I will reach deep into my ego, drawing on the power that my bratty child like need for your attention gives me, in order to provide you with nothing but the highest quality slacken-off-at-work-time. I know that in the time you spend reading my blog, you could have been reading Penny Arcade, or surfing AICN, or posting on your Friends of the River Otter forum, or playing Line Rider, or Googling yourself again, but you chose to burn that calorie in your little clickin finger by coming here. I know how valuable your wasted time is, and I thank you for sharing it with me.

As for my competitors in this little game, Dancing Queen, Thirteen, Joe Vegas, Tahlulah, and the oh so mysterious bloggers #1 and #2, it is go time. Win or lose, lets show this town what local scene rambling is all about. Let us not think of ourselves and of prizes. Instead, let us think of what we can do for Knoxville , nay I say, what we can do for the whole darn internet. Let the cyber yarns of our bacchanal night life shenanigans bring peace, humor, and enlightenment to this grand electric ether. Let us rise above the cyber slime layers of porn and Diet Coke and Mentos videos on YouTube. This is your chance to make a difference! United you can make the internet a better place. And the annals of history will say the revolution started right here in K-town. In the badly misquoted words of one time pop star Pat Benetar, “We blog, We blog, We blog together.”

We can make that brighter tomorrow … alright, I can’t type this crap with a straight face anymore. Bring on the hyper critical opinions, toilet humor, gossip, bad advice and scandal already! And give me my five hunion dollars, beyatches! Cuz as fun as this is gonna be, everybody knows its all about them five Franklins.

Let’s get this dance started shall we?

I’ll be talking to you real soon, beautiful Knox-town. Next up will be my tips for Valentine’s Day. Not to be missed, I tell ya. Till then, stay out of trouble, or if not, send me pics.

-Straps out.