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It's gonna take more than a couple ibuprofens to shake off a holiday week of parties, traveling, in-laws, and a giant bottle of Woodford Reserve (great gift!). As rough a New Year's morning as many of us had (which is why this is a Tuesday edition of The Monday After), it wasn't as excrutiatingly painful as that of UT student Charity Pritchard. According to WVLT, at 12:37 a.m. this single sophomore sax player became the first new mom of Knoxville 2007 when she gave birth to Christian Rocco Touseull, a healthy baby mouthful. The delirious mom announced that she plans to call her child, I shit you not, "Rocky T." This Tuesday edition of The Monday After is dedicated to Christian "Rocky T" Pritchard (whom we hope for the sake of Charity doesn't grow up to be an atheist Gator (not that there's anything wrong with that)) and to all the children of Earth who came into the world ridiculously named. And by the way, the identity of Rocky T's father was not announced.

Empty Bottle of Paringa Sparkling Shiraz

My new favorite holiday tradition is having a cool glass of Paringa Sparkling Shiraz with my Thanksgiving turkey. And also a glass or two with my Christmas dinner. And also a few glasses with my New Year's filet.

Now the holidays are over and all my wine is drunk. Boo. (1/5) -J.B.

Soccer Taco

I really like nachos. I’ve had them everywhere in town: Downtown Grill, Salsarita’s, Senior Taco, Soccer Taco, you name it. And the winner is, without a doubt, Salsarita’s. But I still really, really like Soccer Taco, mostly because everyone there pretends to like soccer, which I also pretend to like. And the soccer theme is everywhere, hanging on the walls and broadcast on the plentiful televisions planted at every possible viewing angle.

This past Friday as I sat munching on some very tasty chimichangas, I couldn’t help but overhear my restaurant neighbors’ very-bigoted, very un-classy conversation. That’s when I took notice of all the patrons of the packed restaurant. There were people of every age, race, and, class, all happily eating some Soccer Taco. A good Mexican place is a great equalizer, a microcosmic American melting pot. Thanks, Soccer Taco, for bringing us all together, serving us good food, and switching over to football when the game’s really important. (3/5) -J.B.

Dreamgirls

I have to say that I’ve been looking forward to this one for awhile, mostly because I’ve needed a good movie musical to help my brain scrub out memories of the recent movie-musical travesties of Rent and The Producers. And with the buzz on Dreamgirls being very positive this holiday season, my expectations for the film were high.

Meh. The film itself will razzle-dazzle you, but none of the performances, save one, will blow you away. Danny Glover and Eddie Murphy are predictably adequate, and Jamie Foxx, whose character is supposed to ooze snake-oil charisma that all the girls fall for, seems not to have read the script. And then there’s America’s favorite size 16, Ms. Beyoncé Knowles. Beyoncé: Your destiny, child, is to be bootylicious, not to be taken seriously as an actress. But you sure do look pretty on the big screen.

The stand-out, as you’ve likely heard, is Jennifer Hudson. I scrutinized her performance from the first minute, looking for the reason every critic in the country was raving about her Oscar-worthy acting. For the first thirty minutes, I thought those critics were crazy. And then it happened. By the time she finished what’s probably the show-stoppingest number in musical history, “And I’m Telling You I’m Not Going,” my critical self was reduced to a quivering heap of emotional Jello. You can have all the Oscars you want, Ms. Hudson. (4/5) -J.B.

Umphrey's McGee at The Aragon Ballroom, Chicago

This year I once again made the trek to Chicago for New Years's with Umphrey's McGee. For four out of the last five years I've traveled to see what I consider to be one of the best bands of our time put on their biggest and best show of the year. Three sold out nights at the beautiful Aragon Ballroom confirmed that they are practically the only link of the jamband scene that has doubled their fanbase in the last five years. No over-the-top theatrics year, the past has included a circus theme with acrocbats and Mini-Kiss ( dwarf-sized cover band), instead this year focused on raw musical power with all star guests including North Mississippi All-stars, Los Lobos, Taj Mahal, and Jeff Coffin of The Flecktones. Their music, a very progressive blend of fusion, was accented by the greatest laser light show I have ever witnessed. The highlight was of course the midnight countdown. Packed body to body with thousands of others just as high on everything as I was a chant broke out "F*ck-Oh-Six, F*ck-Oh-Six..." As I stared up at the sea of balloons and confetti drifting down to us it seemed the perfect metaphor of everything that might be in 2007. I strongly urge everyone in Knoxville to go get tickets for Umphrey's at the Bijou on March 2nd. (5/5) -D.M.

New Year's Eve

As far as I'm concerned, 2007 got off to a fantastic start in Downtown Knoxville. The Bijou, Downtown Grill, World Grotto, Oodles/Uncorked and Preservation Pub all had high-brow entertainment with low-brow cover charges. This made braving the drizzle in sparkly party dresses appealing even to those otherwise inclined to ring in the new year at home. The general atmosphere was one of merriment and good will. Hopefully it will continue throught the year - after all, today's world could definitely use a few more I love you, mans and a few less bullets! (5/5) -K.S.




Happy New Year! See you next week!