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Blizzard after blizzard had brought Denver to its quivering knees, while the rest of the country was baking in seventy degree weather, in January. A collective "what the eff?" uttered across the nervous nation as people prepared themselves for the four horsemen, or the rapture, or the Flying Spaghetti Monster, or whatever apocalyptic vision people are buying into these days. And just when half of us were expecting the Second Coming, and the other half was mentally adjusted to the concept of living out an Eternal Summer, Father Winter finally got off his Arctic ass and visited us here in East Tennessee.

This week's The Monday After goes out to you, Old Man Winter, for being so refreshingly chilly, so deliciously freezing, and just so loveably cold. Thank you for once again making January feel like January, even if you did take your sweet ass time. We're glad you're here.

And now for our weekly rankings!

Mirage on Gay Street

Upon reading the Amy Lawless review of Mirage - the Middle Eastern restaurant on Gay Street - I decided to round up some of the ol' pals for an evening of garlic, onions and lamb kabobs.



Ooops! That's right, this is perhaps the only Middle Eastern restaurant I've ever been to that doesn't offer a yummy skewer of spiced lamb. Regardless of this gaping hole in the menu, the overall experience was quite enjoyable. We took heed at Lawless's warning about the long wait between courses, and filled our glasses with wine and the table with conversation while the staff slowly filled our plates. The entrees were not particularly noteworthy, but the appetizers definitely were! The feta and tzatziki dips were unbelieveable, as was the tabouli salad. The pinnacle of the night, however, was the enormous Hookah of Love. Actually, it was a hookah of apricot-flavored tobacco, but it felt like love! Even though there are some bugs to be worked out with this new joint, the ambience and appetizers are good enough to make up for the shortfalls of the newly opened Mirage. (3/5) - K.S.

Angel Falls Overlook at Big South Fork National River & Recreation Area

This 6 mile roundtrip, much of it easy, pays off splendidly with gorgeous views from atop the overlook. From Oneida, take 297 West on Leatherwood Ford Road, then turn right into the Leatherwood Ford Trail parking lot. This hike begins on the John Muir Trail and there are a few easy, narrow, rock-hopping creek crossings early on. The beginning of this trail ambles along side the Big South Fork River. As the elevation increases, the river becomes obscured as you make your way through a bluff and several rock outcroppings. (If hiking in winter, please be mindful of ice when climbing and walking on rocks. Handhold wires are available for one short section.) We hiked this trail on a beautiful clear January day and saw few people and had beautiful unobstructed views from the top. (5/5) -D.D.

Yo La Tengo at the Bijou Theatre

The phrase "yo la tengo" means "I have it." The band Yo La Tengo, if you see them perform live, means "have a kick-ass time." The Hoboken, New Jersey band gave Knoxville a show at the Bijou Theatre on Saturday night that lived up to every expectation I'd built up. YLT's combination of experimental, cacophonous guitar lashings, timely bassline and drumwork, and sugary/occasionally sad vocals mixed up for pure aural satisfaction. I missed the opening band, but as I made my way in for the second half of the evening's bill, I heard a LOT of people extolling the musical virtues of that band, Nashville-based Lambchop. The Bijou always offers a comfortable seat, amazing acoustics, and a good vibe. By the end of the show, Yo La Tengo gave us two encores, invited members of Lambchop onstage for one of those, and my fellow audience members were leaning on and/or dancing right in front of the stage. This might be a cliché, but it's fair to say that I tengo'd myself a kick-ass time, indeed. (5/5) -B.T.

Pan's Labyrinth

Pan's Labyrinth has been racking up rave reviews and award nominations of late, so I was pretty excited getting to see this movie. I didn't know a whole lot about it going in, other than it was the story of a little girl coping with the war by use of fantasy and fairy tales in 1940s Europe. So I was expecting lots of dragons and fairies and escapism, or at least something warm and fuzzy like Roberto Benigni's Life Is Beautiful.

Well, I got the fairies part right. But I certainly didn't expect the fairies to get their heads bitten off and devoured by a eyeless, bleeding, naked child-eater.

Pan's Labyrinth is horrifyingly beautiful from start to finish. The story is told through the eyes of Ofelia, played by Ivana Baquero, a little girl who moves with her pregnant mother into her new step-father's home, a mill-turned-military encampment. Ofelia is a child who gets lost in her fantasies, fantasies created to help explain and help mitigate the atrocities of the times she lives in. Her father has been killed, her mother's new husband is abusive, and all around her innocent people are struggling to survive. Her waking world is a world of horrors, and her world of fantasy, while very close to being a place of hope and escape, is more reflective of her hellish nightmares. The film is graphic and gruesome, and the usually friendly world of CGI is here no place of refuge. I had to cover my eyes more than once. (4/5) -J.B.

Bruce Pearl at Thompson Boling Arena

The tickets for the Lady Vol vs. Duke basketball game should have come with a disclaimer stating that a naked, screaming Bruce Pearl would be in attendance. Classy, Bruce, real classy. We do like, though, that you're working hard to bring excitement to your counterpart's basketball program. Let's just hope this isn't a trend. (1/5) -J.B.

Go try to put out your mind's eye! See you next week!