520 Pub Crawl: LiveBlogging as a super power
Your 520 Pub Crawl LiveBlogger hereby declares that "LiveBlogging" itself is a super power -- as evidenced by the following urgent investigative comparison between the LiveBlogger and that renowned and revered superhero of the 30th Century, Matter-Eater Lad.
We report, you decide...
Home planet
LiveBlogger: Earth of the 20th and 21st centuries, though he may have visited other worlds in hallucinations in the 1980s.
Matter-Eater Lad (pictured): Bismoll of the 30th Century, which is in the Pepto-Bismol nebula, known for its creamy pink color.
Costume
LiveBlogger: Red 520 T-shirt, ball cap and jeans. No cape -- message of The Incredibles not lost on this guy.
Matter-Eater Lad: Green and yellow tightsuit. Also no cape (though last known pirate copy of The Incredibles removed from last known BitTorrent server more than 800 years before he was born). This is either typical fashion for the 30th Century or the Green Bay Packers' home uniforms by then, thanks to global warming.
Powers
LiveBlogger: Typing. Uploading. Pinging. Swearing at Web servers.
Matter-Eater Lad: Can chew, swallow and quickly digest any form of matter in any quantity.
Weaknesses
LiveBlogger: Biscuits and gravy.
Matter-Eater Lad: Once suffered bloat when a nuclear ray slowed down his mighty metabolism. And, oddly, he too has problems with biscuits and gravy.
Super feats
LiveBlogger: Once force-fed RSS to a man just for snoring.
Matter-Eater Lad: Once hollowed out a meteor by eating it.
Friends
LiveBlogger: Prefers to work alone.
Matter-Eater Lad: Brainiac 5, Triplicate Girl and that pixilated guy with the "Will Work for Matter" sign who hangs at the I-40/Cedar Bluff interchange.
Memberships
LiveBlogger: Toyota Roadside Assistance Program.
Matter-Eater Lad: Legion of Super Heroes. Later retired to become president of Bismoll and wear somewhat looser tightsuit.
Opinions of each other
LiveBlogger: "You look fat in your costume. And, by the hammer of Vila, what kind of superpower is masticating? Now, if things that rhyme with 'masticating' were considered super-powers, we'd probably all be super."
Matter-Eater Lad: "I'm from the 30th Century. Dude! Blogging is so 1,000 years ago!"